Saying goodbye... or 'The Art of Moving On'

This is something I don't think I've yet mastered, despite a plethora of opportunities to learn. There is something in me that yearns to hold on to pieces of the past - people, places, moments, or even whole chapters of my life that have long since run their course and passed into memory. I realize that this isn't necessarily odd, as many people have similar yearnings for "the good ol' days". However, I feel that I allow these yearnings to sometimes become obsessions, which then causes them to disrupt the flow of the here and now... I suddenly am trapped in the past, frozen in a moment long gone, and thus unable to respond and move with this present moment.

I have within me also a strong desire to make the most of every moment and live fully in the present. But I sense that - especially when I am beset by sadness - I retreat in my mind to memories of "better" times and how things used to be. And I cling to those with an unhealthy tenacity... hoping, wishing, dreaming, scheming of ways to try and make them real again. And in so doing, I poison the magic that is possible in this moment, I limit it, sometimes I can't even see it because my eyes are so misty with longings.

So, how do I learn to truly let go? Where is the balance between healthy nostalgia and detrimental longing for a past that is long dead and gone? What if I do let go of everything? What will I have left to hold on to? And, I guess most importantly, what is it that I'm really so afraid of?

People come and go. It is the natural order of life. "Change is the constant, the signal for rebirth, the egg of the phoenix". Dreams come and go. Desires come and go. Family, friends, everything. But I don't like to say goodbye... and perhaps that is my main problem. I used to sneak out of parties so I didn't have to deal with goodbyes. They make me uncomfortable. I don't know why. But as more and more things in my life seem to be needing a graceful goodbye, I would really like to learn how to do so... and mean it, with all goodwill.